Local News Outlet Has No News

Upstart news outlet The Huntsvillan has no news. "Hey there's no advertising either, so what are you complaining about," said the editor.

The editor has a point. "No news is good news," they say, and The Huntsvillan has both no news--which, ipso facto, is good--and no advertising (which is great). "We aim to please," said the editor, "mostly by doing nothing."

Unfortunately, change is coming. "The one constant is change," said Duck Billed Platitudes, our columnist. "We will have news by fall."

"That will be expensive," said the editor. "I'm not sure we can afford it."

"No problem," responded Platitudes. "Just put it on my bill."