City says "Screw it," changes name to Huntsvegas
Coming here is a gamble. Why not make it official?
It was a city council meeting like any other – zoning this, zoning that, etc., etc., etc.
Finally, an unidentified city councilmember grabbed their microphone. “I'm so tired of it! Zoning this! Zoning that! Who cares?”
“For real,” said another. “Sooo tired,” said a third.
The councilmember continued. “Can't we ever do something fun? I wanna do something fun! I want another Chick-Fil-A!(TM)”
The chants began. “Chick-Fil-A!(TM) Chick-Fil-A!(TM) Chick-Fil-A!(TM)”
The city attorney interrupted to bring everyone to their senses. “There's already one by the interstate,” he said. “They aren't going to build another.”
That quieted things for a moment. But just a moment. The frustration had been building for a while.
“Screw it,” said the councilmember. “Let's go hard. Let's change our name to Huntsvegas.”
There was a moment of shock, then a pregnant pause for thought. Then the questions began.
“Would that be good for small business?” asked one councilmember.
“How about small business?” said another. “How would it affect them?”
“I'd want to know the effect on small business,” said a third.
The city's economic development coordinator was called to testify. “You know more people would stop in town, which would help the local economy,” they said.
“Preach!” said mayor Russell Humphrey.
“The world's moving that way,” said the coordinator. “These days you can place a bet on almost anything. Why not go with the trend?”
“Mmmmmmm--hmmm,” said Humphrey.
“And we could finally get a better slogan for tourists. How's this: Huntsvegas? You BET your life!!!”
“Say it louder!” said Humphrey.
Finally the mayor could stand it no longer. He stood up and ripped open his shirt at the chest. “Let's GOOOOOOO,” he said.
And that settled it. A motion was made, there was a second, there was no further discussion, the vote was unanimous. Beginning May 1, Huntsville will officially be known as Huntsvegas. The post office is already preparing, delivering change of address forms to each household, and new signage will appear around the city soon.
“You see?” see the mayor. “Exciting things are happening in this town.”
In related news, The Huntsvillan has decided to change its name to The Huntsvegan. Mr. Hamburger, Bennie J's Smokepit, and the Texas Beef Council all immediately filed suit to prevent the change.